Why We Can’t Have Nice Landscaping
Every spring, the same dream blooms in our family: this year, we’ll finally have a beautifully landscaped yard. Picture it—lush green grass, perfectly placed flower beds, neatly trimmed hedges, and maybe even a little water fountain for that “peaceful retreat” vibe. But reality? Let’s just say the dream gets trampled faster than the tulips.
It all begins with good intentions. We visit the garden center, load up on mulch, plants, and decorative stones. There’s excitement in the air—until the kids come outside. Within minutes, the newly planted marigolds are being picked like wildflowers for “magic potions,” the decorative stones are turned into missiles for backyard warfare, and the mulch? It’s become a pretend cake for mud pie baking.
Then there are the pets. Our dog thinks the flower beds are the world’s best racetrack. The cat believes the freshly tilled soil is her new luxury litter box. And let’s not forget the squirrels who dig up anything remotely resembling a bulb, as if they’re competing in a tiny, furry version of “The Great British Bake Off.”
Despite our best efforts—fencing off areas, posting “Do Not Step Here” signs (as if toddlers or golden retrievers can read), and even installing motion-activated sprinklers—the yard becomes a chaotic free-for-all by week two. That beautiful rock garden? Now buried in dirt and mysterious snack wrappers. The ornamental grass we were so proud of? Eaten by the neighbor’s goat who somehow got through the fence. Yes, we don’t know how either.
Still, we keep trying. Maybe because we’re optimistic, or maybe because deep down, we like the chaos. There’s something comforting about knowing that even if our landscaping never makes it to a Pinterest board, it’s part of a yard full of life—messy, loud, and full of laughter.
So, why can’t we have nice landscaping? Because we have kids, pets, neighbors, wildlife, and a strong tradition of turning garden projects into slapstick comedy. But honestly, that might be better than perfection. Our “before” yard photos might never have an “after,” but they sure have great stories.
